For nearly forty years I
suffered and was torn between the joy that my beloved and sweet mother had got
me and the immense sorrow that, because of me, what she had asked of me had not
been brought to fulfilment, even if she, our dear Mother, had assured me that
she would have sent me an instrument to carry out all that she wished to give,
as a gift, to her dear little children.
I was strongly seized by
the fear of being deluded and, even now, this thought often torments me.
After many prayers and the
encouragement of Mother I presented myself to you, father. I do not know if you
still remember that first meeting.
I immediately felt welcomed
and realized that you would understand me. However I confess that every time I
intended to speak about the blessed Virgin Mary, when I was in front of you, I
felt a force that prevented me from speaking and I was unable to say a word.
Thus the fear of being deluded became stronger and stronger.
One day Mother said to me:
“My little one, speak!
This is the instrument that Jesus has sent you in order to bring about what I
asked of you ”.
“I am sorry Mother, you
can see that I am unable to say a word…”.
“Do not be afraid, it is
the rage of my enemy who wants to prevent your dear Mother from giving the gift
to her dear children for the salvation of souls”.
I took courage and said to
“Listen, dear Mother, forgive my daring. If it
is really you who want this, you who can do this, get him to question me: then
it will be much easier for me to report simply all that you have asked”.
Trusting in the help of
Mother, I calmed down and became serene, certain that She would have directed
the things in such a way that it would have been you, Father, to question me.
When, after having read my note books, you asked me what secret I had, I do not
know if you noticed, I was very moved, felt a strength that was not mine and
was able to speak easily. Thank you, dear Mother, how good and compliant you
A WELL-GROUNDED CREDIBILITY
Mystical events need to be
evaluated with a sense of responsibility, without prejudicial attitudes either
in a positive or negative sense.
First of all, it is
necessary to bear in mind that liberty and unpredictability in divine action
are characteristics which are well emphasized in the pages of the Bible. We
cannot claim divine action to conform to our thought-patterns
In our case , precious
elements on which to base the authenticity of the experience related are
offered by the same person who lived out the experience.
First of all the account,
when it is examined attentively, offers serious elements of credibility. The
life, above all, of this Clare nun was of such a spiritual depth as to exclude
with absolute certainty any suspect of deception and this without lowering the
requirements made by the prudence, especially in such cases.
The fact that this event
came to light after a period of forty years is not insignificant.
When the related event was
silenced at its birth in such a dramatic way, the visionary waited in faith for
the moment that Our Lady had foretold, without taking any initiative herself.
She could have taken
advantage of the time during which she fulfilled the office of Abbess, a time
that would have given her the possibility to act with a certain liberty, also
to make use of the co-operation of an influential priest from a religious
order, who thought very highly of her and to whom she herself applied several
times for advice.
The priest too, who did his
best to have the medal coined, even though he had followed her in her spiritual
way for some years and received many confidences concerning her mystical
experiences, did not suspect that she hid such a secret.
Only following an
intervention that was in itself extraordinary did he ask her the question that
she was waiting for and in this way an event of grace and suffering, not easy
to understand, was brought to light.